This year has been filled with travel.We are now half way through the month of April and I have been blessed to been to almost everywhere I always dreamed about to go to. I have a hunger for exploring, but not in the backpacking kind of way. I like the big enormous cities with small quirky streets and beaches where there is a hidden corner where an old lady makes home made pancakes on a hot stone. It all boils down to the big and also the smallest stories. That was the discover is all about.

From December 2015 to today in April 2016, I  have been to visit Istanbul, Stockholm and Katrineholm, US (twice with New York and Las Vegas), Dubai, Singapore, Australia (Melbourne, Albury, Sydney, Wollongong and loads more). What a crazy first quarter of this year. I have taken a lot of time off work and one of the trips was to Las Vegas for a work conference which took place in the end of January.

The flight to Las Vegas was a little bit over 15 hours. I was flying with Virgin Atlantic which is one of my favorites when it comes to spending almost two days up in the air.

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Red Rock Hotel

I stayed at the Red Rock Hotel which is located close to the Red Rock area. It took me about 35 minutes in a Uber to the strip. Red Rock had everything I needed, a cool fitness center, pools, steam room and for the conference it was equipped with spacey rooms. And pretty cozy sheets and a big bath tub for a nice diva bath with fluffy bubbles.

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The strip and the different casinos and hotels 

I think it was a good idea living a bit away from the strip. The strip is super intense and have everything you need when you’re in the city aka casinos, shops, strip clubs and what not. In most of the casinos you can smoke inside, so after some days I smelled like an ashtray just by all the passive smoking by all the puffing casino players that was around me. The interior inside Ceasars Palace and the Venetian is outstanding and extravagant. The flower show reminded you that not everything is made by plastic, gold or money in this city. A needed reminder indeed.

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Horse riding in the Red Rock Conservation Area with a real cowboy

Me and my colleges had booked in advance a horse riding sessions together with a real cowboy in the Red Rock area and in the mountain. We went with  Cowboy Trail Rides Las Vegas and it such a cool experience. We had a dedicated guide which took us through the stunning Red Rock National Conservation Area. The nature is full of different (for me) unseen flowers and cactus, yucca, Joshua Trees, grasses and cute flowers. I truly recommend this to anyone that visit Las Vegas, the tour takes around 3 hours with preparation and instructions. The ride is around 2 hours and you get to see a lot of the Red Rock valley.

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Night activities 

During the conference week we had different sessions and in the evenings there was different events hosted by the company I work for. And of course the most of the strongest selfies are taking in the ladies! This was in the Red Rock Hotel.

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Omnia night club and Calvin Harris live 

We went to Omnia Nightclub in Las Vegas which is located in Caesars Palace. What a night! I can’t even describe this place. During the Calvin Harris set there was acrobatic dancers that was hanging down wrapped in ropes flying around in the open space, they just appeared from nowhere. Omnia was also filled with rich sheiks, rich Russian R’nB artists and all sorts of people including girls with 20 cm high heels too looking like struggling penguins. Be prepared with extremely expensive drinks inside the club, the bar is charging you around 25USD for one Gin and Tonic.

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Cinnabon

And….And. Ever had a orgasmic cinnabon / kanelbulle experience? No? Okay. If not, Cinnabon is your place to go. The cinnabon and the cream together and everything is just. Ouff. Amazing. Please come to London soon and take over our bakeries.

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Las Vegas was a hit. It’s intense, crazy and everyone is high on life (or something else). It left me with a great experience and a full tummy and empty Amex.

Lovely to be back in the writing space! There has been a long time since last time. I have been trying to use Instagram but the format has its limitations.

I spoke with a person that inspired me a lot to be more focused on me. This person could see that I was missing something. 



Pepparkaka in Sweden.  Nails here are done from The Beauty Box in London.

The part that was missing was how I come across. My Twitter is the not so serious Tova and my Instagram comes across flashy flashy where I only post pictures of thing I love, restaurants, nice things and what I have succeded with. There is something missing… Where is the real me. Well, it’s here in the text. Pictures have its limitation.
You could say I miss myself a little bit. Where is the reflections? It’s here in the text. It is often found in the text.

The last one and half or two years me and my close friend Sandra’s been writing a secret document with reflections. We select a date where from we do a sum up of the last two weeks or month, what ever date we wrote reflections on the last time.

It help us to reflect and look with a critics eye on our own learnings and what we could have done better. Conclusions. It also helps us say to ourselves, “Stop being so selfish, call you family, save to this, focus on your studies/school” or whatever it might be.

Last year was amazing. With mostly challanges. Mom got rid of her cancer. I split with my partner. I changed jobs and went through some hard myself with my own health. Suicidal due to a implant. I will write about that when it feels right. In two days I am turning 25.
I have clear goals for this year. I want to succeed with my job. I am moving out from my flat in Sevenoaks in 2 weeks and up to north London, to Finsbury Park. Pretty close to the park! It’s a beautiful area. I am not that SAD to leave Sevenoaks, Sevenoaks is what it is. 



National Trust Knole Park in Sevenoaks a five minutes walk from my flat..



My best watch from Rotary, new ring to strengthen my own relationship with myself!

It’s a really wealthy area, loads of white high income families. Close to Natioal Trust Knole Park, just outside my flat.

I will not miss 3-4 hours commute I do everyday. And spending around £500 a month depending on what corporate meeting I need to arrange across South UK. I had a appointment regarding getting braces since my teeth are completely zick zack. That might be around £5000. So loads of pesetas. When I was little I was refused braces in Sweden and now my teeth are placed so tight I look like a hyena. It was a bad private dentist so I have cancelled the installment. So if you’re reading this  (it’s not too late) I am looking for a NHS or private dentist to do this, let me know if you know one. 

Loads of goals, loads of hard work infront of me. Last year I learned that failing is a way to learn and calling off an engagement will haunt you for a long time, but rather that than trouble haunting you for the rest of your life. And with a ring on your finger! I got my own ring now so I’m happy.



Happy days in 2014, this will be successful year too.

Anyway. It’s a long story. I will take everything one day. But I’m back with my writing down my thought now.

Be blessed and take care of yourself and people around you.

Love

T

Some of you know how much I worship my mother. She is my everything. Since I dont have contact with my father she is even more important for me. In my own eyes I only have one parent. Mom.

She has always been there for me. Always, alwyas. Cant express my love for this woman. in the laste 90s she was diagnosed with a cronic neuro disease which cause her to shake when tired, major pain in joints in the body and so further. She has been there more than any other partent I know of. And yes. I might sound repetitive since I might have written this before. Even though she has been sick and she is alway 100 percent there. Always.

Around two months ago she was on a routine visit at the doctors, mammography. It was a normal one. She got sent back and was soon diagnosed with cancer. She sent me a message on Facebook that it was kind of urgent and she needed to talk. I knew straight that something was wrong. I called her up and she told me the news. When I heard cancer I immediately feared for the worst. That I would loose the most valuable I ever had.

Two weeks after the news she came to London. It was planned before I knew about her status. We had a lovely time. We had time to take in the news and she got mentally prepared for the first step in the treatment. We went to Paramount restaurant, Tate, lovely dinners all over and home time.

Some weeks ago the surgery was done to remove the tumor. It went great and we skyped from the room where she was waking up from. Late last week she got the news that the tumor was successfully removed and that chemo is not needed. Best news we could ever get! I didnt feared for the very very worst, but cancer has my respect. In a bad way. Long story short. It is removed now. Hopefully it will not come back to you. I love this woman. I want to keep you for a long long long time.

Here is some pictures from the recent years.

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In my kitchen in Gubbängen, Stockholm, Sweden a late saturday night.

 

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At a bar in Medborgarplatsen in Stockholm. She is so beautiful here!

 

66703_10151194266807197_1952267160_nIn London last Christmas. We stayed at Hilton Hotel Waldorf. Here at a cafe in Leicester Square cosying up.

 

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In Stockholm at a restaurant, think this must been taken 2009.

 

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Mom and her dad smiling together in a the archipelago of northern of Sweden. The little village is called Påläng and is close to Överkalix. This was one of his last trips before the dementia took over his brain and body. Amazing week spent here with the closest familiy.

I am just so blessed that this went well. Prayers and support is everything. I felt like a bad person living in a another country while she has been under this pressure. Skype is everything. And text and phone.

Mom. I am happy it is away. Fuck cancer. Hopefully you will be here forever. Or at least for a long long long time.

I love you Mom.

Last week was a bit intense. So to illustrate this best; Last week in selfies.

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Woke up on Monday with whaaaaaaaa feeling. I started a new job as a Client Advisor for Livebookings.

Feeling :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD. In other words, superfucking amazing mega thrilled.

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Got this amazing gift (Diesel Fuel For Life) as a surprise and I still dont know why, I don´t deserve theese kind of nice gift. Ha. Image

Thought I had a buff moment and captured this on Snapchat (buff is for you that are not up to date with London slang handsome, hot ect).

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Responded on a friends post on Snapchat, she sended a picture of an empty protein powder box. I responded with painted tears.Image

Woke up on saturaday morning feeling fresh since no alcohol beverage been intaken the day before. Mhmmm.

ImageProgress picture on a sunday morning feeling lean after gym this week. Been focusing on abs and belly recently.

I´m seeing someone. I really like him. He is so. I dont know. I really really like him. Been seeing him for a while now.

We went to church together on sunday. It was Hillsong at Tottenham Court Road in London. Amazing. I was so taken. Only been to St Philips church in central before. This was so moving. Anyhow. After we met his mom and sister. Later we ate kebab and burgers in Bethnal Green. Lovely.

That was last week.

I think it´s time for me to start writing some again. I have been missing it a lot.
My dear auntie Manne is blogging about her, her husband and their daughter (my cousin Agnes) on stockholmshanghai.blogg.se , a must to read! Manne is writing about their move to Shanghai and their life. She also pops in here. Love that. Since Facebook is banned in the country is a good way of keeping up.
I figure I might need to update more about the daily (also since I stopped being an active Facebook user two months ago) or at least what is going on in my head. It’s easy that is just floating away.

Okay. So found a video i did in May this year, think it was supposed to be longer and so further, but I put it together since it summarise my first year here in London pretty much.
Since May I’ve been depressed in waves. I think it has to do that I broke up with my boyfriend that I lived with and it was emotionally extremely rocky. I went to Sweden in June for a quick surprise visit for my sister Filippas graduation which gave me some time to clear my head (well, two days).

Bless

Started to producing every night again after work. (Yes I stopped when my workload was to heavy for a month and got depressed)

All weekdays I’m at Philips, but get off pretty early. That’s wonderful. It’s great to be able to take that afternoon/night freedom and just get better att producing. I do my everything to get proper married with the latest version of Logic Pro. I gonna crack that. I’ve been seeing millions of tutorials and had billions of Skype sessions with different producers and read gazillions of blogs and yes, you get it. If you’re married with the program it’s easier to make your ideas into sounds or hopefully splendid tracks.

I started to seriously to consider to buy Teenage Engineering OP-1 (Operator-1) . Yes, I’m a happy AIAIAI ambassador but hey, this is a great new way to make new beats. When I was in the swedish rapper Adam Tenstas studio some month ago we used his, and it was neat, simple and just perfect.

When I was in Sweden and producing and visiting hospital (and other things that is weird to combine) I bought pro account on SoundCloud. Since I’m a nerd when it comes to analysis and stats I jizzed in my pants when I realized I could measure individual tracks to their bones. So this is the preview on ‘Revina’ down here. And it’s pretty cute to see that everyone is a TRUE ‘Revina’ fan on sundays. Will keep on a close eye on this feature.

Another SoundCloud related thing…

SoundCloud released the beta of New SoundCloud. You know when you listen and look at a sound wave? And see this comments pop up and destroy everything? They fixed that. They even fixed it to “more social”. Maaah. For me that was’nt nessesary, but the sharing function is easier which may be a part of it, I guess. It looks neat and so I cant say it’s faulty yet. And as an artist on site it’s easy to manage your inbox (which made me lose a music collab once, since my inbox wasnt shouting at me – hopefully it does that now!) and manage your listenings. Good job and big up to SoundClouds programmers and everyone standing behind this new version.

Well that’s all for now. Play safe xxx

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